2000 January 2000

08/02/2000 Mayor Roshchupkin filed a 5 million ruble lawsuit against Omsk Rubber, claiming that condoms that he bought, made by this company, had holes in them.

05/02/2000 Mayor Roshchupkin announced that he will soon be a father. When asked how his wife felt about this he replied, "I don't know - I haven't yet dared to tell her".

31/01/2000 Mayor Roshchupkin congratulated Governor Polezhaev on his 60th birthday and presented him with a one year supply of Viagra.

27/01/2000 Omsk Deputy Mayor, Gennadi Kopeikin, announced that attempts to sell Irtish water in Mexico and Armenia were a complete failure. However, tomorrow, he and his family will leave on a six week trip to try to sell Irtish water in Tonga, Kiribati, Tahiti and Madagascar.

26/01/2000 Somebody urinated in the snow outside Omsk City Hall and wrote "death to Polezhaev". An investigation by the Cheka revealed that it was Mayor Roshchupkin's urine and Monica Polezhaeva's handwriting.

21/01/2000 Mayor Roshchupkin announced that the City Council will hold a Miss Omsk beauty contest. The winner will receive a one week vacation in Morozovka and spend an evening with Governor Polezhaev. The second place contestant will receive a two week vacation in Morozovka and spend three evenings with Governor Polezhaev.

20/01/2000 Monica Polezhaeva has made a commercial, to be shown on Armenian television, for Irtish water in which she declares, "Since I began to drink Irtish water I have lost 20 kilograms".

17/01/2000 The new art institute on Marshal Zhukov Street will be named in honor of Omsk First Deputy Mayor, Nikolai Yalovenko. Its name, Khudozhestvennyi Institut Imeni Yalovenko, will be abbreviated to KhuInYa.

13/01/2000 Uzbekistan President, Islam Karimov, met with Omsk City Council to discuss the unpaid bill for 50 camels. He rejected an offer of 100 rickshaws and 1000 litters of mineral water from the Irtish.

12/01/2000 During peace talks, mediated by Mike Tyson, Governor Polezhaev bit off a piece of Mayor Roshchupkin's ear.

11/01/2000 The Omsk Central Court sentenced former SibDermProm Vice President, Ruslan Sultanov to 20 years in prison for the theft of 4000kg. of fertilizer. However, since the prison's computer showed his sentence as expiring in 1920, he was immediately released.

10/01/2000 Governor Polezhaev presided at the ceremonial opening of SukhVerbGovProm, a new company that will sell dried camel dung. He announced that this will solve the city's heating problems.

07/01/2000 At the invitation of Omsk City Council, former world heavyweight champion, Mike Tyson, arrived in Omsk today to mediate the dispute between Mayor Roshchupkin and Governor Polezhaev.